Addiction can damage many facets of your life, including your relationships. Rebuilding relationships in recovery and family therapy needs to be done with care. Your friends and loved ones do not enjoy watching you spiral down into the throes of addiction. Before you approach people about your sincere apologies, make sure that you take a hard look at yourself and know exactly what you are sorry for.
Rebuilding relationships in recovery simply cannot be on your terms. You are going to have to allow the people that you want to reconnect with to make up the terms themselves. People will probably want evidence that you are better, they will need to watch you do well for an amount of time before trusting you enough to be forgiving.
Start By Forgiving Yourself
If you hold resentments and anger toward yourself, you will need to work through them in order, to be honest in your apologies to others. It’s like they say, you can’t love someone if you don’t love yourself. You can’t ask someone for forgiveness if you can’t forgive yourself. This part is about taking a good look at things and taking responsibility for the things you have done in your mind. Once this step is completed, you can move on.
Don’t Expect Too Much
Just because you finally figured it out and got sober, does not mean that your family and friends should be celebrating you. They are more likely to be like, wow finally. Don’t be hurt when your sobriety does not garner positive attention, stay focused on being sober, do not get upset with your friends and family for holding a grudge for longer than you see fit, be patient with them when rebuilding relationships in recovery.
The Ones You Owe The Biggest Apology To
For people that you have hurt over and over don’t keep saying you are sorry over and over again. Make sure that they know that you are healthy and functioning and that they are at the forefront of your mind at all times. Actions speak louder than words:
- Help with things even when not specifically asked to
- Lend an ear when it is needed
- Be there for them
- Continue acting this way to show them consistently that they do matter to you
This is a big one. When you go to apologize to someone, don’t make up excuses about why you did something, or how you are so different now. Just tell them that you are sorry and allow them to talk. Also, this is their time to get things off their chest about you. If you let them do this; things are likely to smooth over. It may not be easy to hear what this person has to say, but you owe them that much at the least.
In essence, tolerance is a learned skill. Addicts can have a tough time with tolerance. Be tolerant with the ones you love, especially while you are in early sobriety. During the early stages, you can be quite irritable and anxious. Dial it back a bit and allow people to be who they are character defects and all.
When rebuilding relationships, you need to consider the amount of damage that has been done. You may never be able to reform some of your old relationships due to your addiction. Be realistic about it and know that it is OK.
Believe That Everything Will Work Out
As long as you are working on yourself and staying positive things will work out while rebuilding relationships in recovery.
For example, here are a few things you will want to do:
- Approach people with care
- Be sincere in your apology
- Accept their reaction
And make a note to not do these things:
- Make excuses for your actions
- Tell people that they need to be better
- Be impatient
Know That You Deserve To Be Loved And Will Be
It’s important to remember, no matter how your loved ones and friends take your amends, even if they all leave. You will find love and acceptance elsewhere. People need you, people love you, and people are out there all over the place waiting to meet you!
Start Rebuilding Relationships in Recovery
One final thought. Family therapy is one of the ways clients begin rebuilding relationships in recovery. Steps to Recovery in Pennsylvania offers family therapy programs along with inpatient and outpatient rehab programs Give us a call today at 267.719.8528 to find out more.